-Next Episode-
“On the next episode of ATF Saga, Jaynin finally starts writing the ATF Saga again! After a break of nearly a year and a half, he’s finally back in action and this time writing a story on the ever-popular Nippon Ichi game Disgaea! What antics await the ATF this time? Let’s see what’s in store for our intrepid forum-goers!” Jaynin cleared his throat and turned the page in his script.
“What are you doing? Who are you talking to? Why are you speaking in that strange voice?” Liger asked, but was ignored.
“Neeeeeeeeeeeext on ATF Saga… can Liger and Jaynin hold an entire conversation using just the word ‘d00d’? It’ll be a challenging fight to the finish in the battle of inflection –“
“Since when it is a fight or a battle?”
“Who will be able to attach more meanings to the word ‘d00d’ and use more inflections to win the day?” Jaynin cleared his throat and ruffled the papers. “D00d.”
“D000000d,” Liger replied.
“D00d?”
“D00d,”
“D00d---!”
“D00d…”
“D00d…?”
“I’m going to kill you both… Starting with you, niichan.”
“Hey wait, why me first – O_o SHIT!” And Liger took off running down the hall, fleeing as fast as his very legs would carry him towards safety! Of which there was none to be had.
“Can Ky escape the loli police?” Jaynin went on, building up steam as he got into his monologue. “Will their devious ploy to arrest him during tea hour succeed? Can he finish his tea and biscuits before the loli police arrive?”
“Oi! You barbarians, interrupting the tea hour is forbidden! >:0” Ky proclaimed, sipping from a cup of tea as he fled a group of 12-year-olds dressed in police uniforms and carrying handcuffs.
“And after that, will Bridge finally make good on his promise to do the unspeakable – a task so horrific, that even speaking its very name sends the victim into convulsions of terror! Will he be able to withstand the assault on his very sanity? Stay tuned!”
“What are you talking about? I never do work.” Bridge said confidently. “Besides, I draw now, so I’ve got official bad-ass immunity.”
“That’s right, folks, it’s the dreaded REWRITES!” This last was followed by a series of affected gasps from Jaynin.
Bridge twitched. “Don’t talk about that.”
“Why, what’s wrong with the REWRITES you’ve promised to do for so long and have never even begun?”
“I told you not to say that.”
“Will you finally bridge the gap between the real and ideal? Will you finally make good on your promise to REWRITE every single word you have committed to paper – actually a Word document – and revise?”
“…You think you’re clever, don’t you. Fitting in a bridge joke. …Ass.”
“I think thats worth a roffle,” Chibi interjected.
“And after even the unspeakable horror of the REWRITES,” Jaynin went on, grandiosely turning to Chibi and ignoring Bridge completely, leaving him to mutter and cackle to himself in a corner, “what awaits Chibi is even more terrifying than that!”
“o_o a hug?” Chibi asked.
“Even more terrifying than a hug! It’s… the LIVING ROFL! The living rofl, awakened from its slumber of a thousand years by generations of ATFers taking its name in vain, is now seeking vengeance on the one who started the entire sorry trend… Chibi!”
“You sure your not drunk? XD Roffle. n_n A living rofl ey? We’ll see about that.” Chibi looked down the hall and twitched. “…your such a jew.”
“The mighty LIVING ROFL even now chases Chibi through the halls of the ATF, shooting at the hapless ninja with its feared XD Cannon!” Jaynin turned the page as Chibi was chased by a giant stone carved in the shape of ‘ROFL’ sliding down the halls, shooting little stones inscribed with ‘XD’ at him.
“Ha! That’s right, I always told you that you were going to rofl straight to hell!” Ketsune snickered.
“True ninjas wouldn’t get trapped by a rofl ;3” Lantean put in. “I’d just intimidate it with mah sexah ninja sword skills.”
“ANYWAY,”
Jaynin said, blocking both of them and returning to his monologue. “And
perhaps
the most dire situation of all… the RP Forum is about to explode!
Sagging under
the weight of innumerable posts, not even a slow-moving elitist topic
can slow
down the explosive growth! When will it explode? The time is getting to
be
critical! Any moment now, an entire floor of the
“Actually, I’m on patrol in the Discussion forum, stabbing people who make spam topics,” Pison said.
“So you are,” Jaynin agreed. Then the RP forum exploded, sending the aforementioned ATFers flying into the sky and pelting them with a storm of asterisks.
“BUT the most overgrown monstrosity of all is the notorious Hi thread! It offends! It swells every day with more and more useless things! Will Hi eventually fill up and explode, showering everyone with offensive 4chan pictures?”
“Ack! No! Keep the perversion away!” RLinksoul objected.
“It’s too late! Aided by its prophet Zera, 4chan has plotted to take over not only the Hi thread but the entire Discussion board? Will someone save the ATF before it’s too late? Will the RP forum ever be rebuilt? Will Chibi ever escape the rofl? Will Lantean and Ketsune help him? Will Bridge ever finish the rewrites? Can Liger escape Usako’s anti-leet rage?”
“Can Jay ever stop talking?” HDS complained.
“Can HDS ever get out from under Nessonite’s thumb?”
“*grumble* I knew it was a bad idea to visit that room.”
“Aww… you loved it, HDS. Don’t lie. :D” Nessonite giggled.
“ALL THIS and more, coming up on the next episode of the ATF Saga, Episode Six: The Important Aspect of Being Overlord – Disgaea!”
“It’s time for Jaynin to write the story,” Jaynin concluded with a flourish.
In the Netherworld, all was… if not quiet, then as it usually was. This was evident because even at the early hour it was, there was a familiar sound echoing through the halls of the castle.
“Mmhmhmhm… hahahahahaha… AAAAAAhahahahahahaha!!!”
“Ohh… why must he laugh all the time?” Flonne fretted after about the third or fourth repetition of Laharl’s grandiose laugh. “It keeps me from sleeping too long… Perhaps it is not good that I sleep for a very long period of time, but… even Seraph Lamington let me sleep until at least 8 in the morning…” Flonne tried to roll over and go back to sleep, but Laharl continued to laugh, and laugh, and laugh some more.
Finally, after about half an hour of trying to go back to sleep, Flonne gave up and sleepily tumbled out of bed, getting dressed and walking to the main hall of the castle. She saw that she was not the only one to have been disturbed by Laharl’s megalomania. She greeted everyone she saw with a cheerful “Good morning!” and was happy to have them at least nod in reply. Before they had just flat out ignored her or made fun of her…
“Mhmhmhm… hahahahahahaha… AAAAAAAhahahahahahaha!!!”
Flonne finally made it to the throne room, and raised her finger to ask Laharl what he was doing. “Umm… Laharl, what exactly are you doing?”
“Huh? Flonne? Don’t bother me, I’m busy,” Laharl said imperiously. He didn’t look the least bit busy, standing in front of the throne with a sinister grin on his face, which he promptly turned on Flonne. Then, he started to laugh again. “Mhmhmhm… hahahaha…”
“Geez, give it a rest, Prince.” Laharl’s signature finish was interrupted by the sassy retort from the ever-sassy ‘vassal’ Etna. “Y’know, I think we all kinda get the message by now…”
“Yes,” Flonne interjected. “Since becoming the Overlord, you have done nothing but laugh all day.”
“What do you know?!” Laharl retorted, glaring at both of them. “Laughing is a very important aspect of being Overlord. And call me Overlord! Not ‘Prince’!” Laharl added, staring pointedly at Etna who, as usual, was totally unaffected.
“But that’s just a minor detail. Don’t let it get you all worked up, Prince. Just relax.” Etna smirked. “In fact, why don’t you just sit here and practice laughing for a few more days and let your humble vassal Etna take care of those bothersome Overlord chores for you…”
“NO! I refuse!” Laharl said suddenly, bounding down the steps to the throne until he was right in front of Flonne and Etna. “If I let you go off on your own for a few days, I’ll discover that I was killed and that I turned my title of Overlord over to you or something! I’m right, aren’t I?” He thrust an accusatory finger at both of them for good measure.
“But… but why me?” Flonne said, sweatdropping. “I would never…”
“Aww, too bad,” Etna said sarcastically, grinning widely. “You saw through my plan this time, Prince. Guess I’ll have to try again sometime later, eh?” Etna hefted her spear and chuckled. “Come on then. We’ve got to get going.” She was halfway to the door before she turned to look at Laharl. “Coming, Prince? Or are you going to let me go off on my own?”
“I’m coming, I’m coming! There’s no way I’m letting you go to – hey, wait a minute,” Laharl objected. “Where ARE we going? Has a problem developed somewhere? Is a demon challenging my claim to the throne and raising an army in rebellion? Is there something brewing in the human world that I can take advantage of to sow chaos on their planet?”
“Well, not
exactly.” Etna grinned. “You see, all this week Sphinx’s on
“You want me to go along and carry your LUGGAGE?! I refuse! This is an outrage! A mockery to the title of Overlord! An affront to the King of the Netherworld! Besmirching my family’s honor –!” Laharl went on ranting at Etna as she went out the door, his shouting loud enough to be heard until the pair of them left the castle through the teleportation gate.
“Oh dear…” Flonne chuckled. “It’s definitely an odd way to do so, but I’m pretty sure that was Laharl and Flonne expressing love just then…” Flonne giggled and wandered off by herself. Eventually, she came upon the Prinny Squad lazing about in the portal area, goofing off and spending their pay on food and drink. “Heehee… I mustn’t disturb the Prinnies. With Laharl and Etna gone, they’ll have a day off!” So Flonne said nothing as she walked past them, but when she stopped at the Rosen Queen shop, she overheard some snippets of conversation…
“D00d, Master Etna’s got some dirt on the Prince,” one said. “Did you notice how the Prince has been doing everything she’s said for the past week or so? He screams and rants and complains but he always goes along with her, even do to her errands or her laundry! She’s got somethin’ deep on him, d00d.”
“Shh, d00d! Don’t say that too loud, d00d, or he’ll dock your pay again if he hears it!” At this all the Prinnies looked around, saw Flonne, and inched away from her, speaking in much quieter tones. Flonne hadn’t even noticed, but when she turned around happily sipping a drink, she noticed that all of them were turned away from her.
“P-Prinnies? Did I do something… I won’t tell Laharl anything, I’m…!”
“Don’t bother trying to talk to them.” Flonne gasped as she whirled around to see a nekomata and an empusa, lower-ranking forms of the sexy succubi and kitsune demons. The empusa had her tail wrapped around the shopkeeper’s neck and his head right between her breasts as the nekomata simply took what she wanted. After finishing their not-quite-outright theft, the pair headed for Flonne, where the empusa continued speaking. “About a week ago, we helped Etna blackmail the Prince… that’s why he does whatever she says. Mhmhmhm,” she chuckled.
“Blackmail the prince? Oh, that’s terrible! You shouldn’t do that!” Flonne said, facing the two demons, and then wishing she had not. Though they did nothing overt yet, the nekomata put her arm around Flonne’s shoulders while the empusa’s tail curled loosely up one leg. “W-wait, what are you doing --?”
“We’ll just explain it to you is all, come along with us,” the empusa said with a chortle stopping barely just short of suggestive. Flonne had little choice but to accompany the pair of them to an unoccupied room and even when they got there, she still wasn’t let go, although the empusa untwined her tail from Flonne’s leg. “You see,” she began…
“Hmhmhmhmmmmmmh… no. Again,” Laharl commanded himself, standing in front of the mirror in his bedroom. “Mhmhmhmhmhmmmm…. No! Still not right!” Laharl glared at the mirror, then tried again, his voice strained. “AHaaaaaaahaahahaa… No! Aaaaaaaagh! Why can’t I laugh properly? Why?!” Laharl smashed the mirror in a fit and stomped back and forth across his room. “I’ve been practicing for the past day and I still can’t properly laugh like an Overlord should!”
“Aww, what’s the matter?” Etna said in a not-quite-openly mocking tone, leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed and a most insolent look on her face. It wasn’t that Etna didn’t usually have such a look, but there was something in her eyes this time that stopped Laharl’s objection dead in his throat. “Is the Prince having a little trouble… with some of his Overlord duties?”
“W-what’s it to you?!” Laharl asked, taking a step back and realizing that Etna was blocking the only exit from the room. “Why are you looking at me like that! Speak! I command you to tell me what you’re up to!”
“What I’m up to? Aww, Prince… don’t be so suspicious.” Etna grinned. “I’m just here to help you… C’mon in, you two.” Etna beckoned to the empusa and nekomata waiting just outside the door, prompting Laharl to shriek again as the three girls started to advance on him. “Etna! I c-command you to stop right now! Don’t bring those sexy women any closer to me, or… or…!!!”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!”
“Wait, that’s all?” Flonne asked with a giggle. “Heehee! I understand now. You tickled Laharl to help him laugh properly!” The two demons had stopped holding her, and both were giggling at Flonne’s revelation. “Oh, I understand now. Laharl’s too embarrassed to admit when he looks cute doing anything –“
“I AM NOT CUTE!” Laharl bellowed from the doorway of the room, startling its three inhabitants. “I’ve been waiting for the proper time to get my revenge on you two and now I find that you’re collaborating with them too, Flonne?” Laharl was pointing an accusatory finger at the three of them that unfortunately missed, given that he couldn’t see due to the blindfold he had tied over his eyes. “It doesn’t matter! With this blindfold I, Laharl, am immune to the charms of those sexy women!” He advanced into the center of the room, closing the door behind him.
“But Laharl, I thought you were with Etna!” Flonne said, backed up against the wall opposite Laharl. The empusa and nekomata had silently begun to loop around and get behind him. “Did you return already?”
“Ha! Etna only thought that was me! That’s part of MY revenge on HER! I hired a doppelganger to assume my form, and when the time is right, he’ll spring a trap on her! Mhmhmhmhm! No one outsmarts the Overlord!” He thrust his finger out at Flonne. “Now it’s your time to pay, disloyal va-aa-aa-aahahaahahahahahAHAHAH STOP THAT!!!” Laharl whirled around, grabbing for the nekomata whose claws had just stroked his side, and ended up exposing himself to the empusa behind him, who put her fingers under his arms.
“GYHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!” Laharl bellowed while trying not to giggle foolishly, hopping backwards until he hit the wall. “OUCH! Flonne, don’t just stand there, do something!”
“Umm… umm… oh! I’ve got it!” Flonne struck a pose. “Evildoers! I can no longer allow your evil ways to continue tormenting Laharl! I will punish you with the judgment of Heaven! Transfoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorm!” Flonne assumed another pose and waited.
“Transform into what?” the empusa chuckled, sliding forward and teasing Flonne under the chin.
“No! Please don’t!” Flonne giggled. “I can’t transform if you’re distracting me!”
“Well, that’s just too ba – “ The empusa’s eyes bulged in mid-tease and she started to squeal. “No! Pleheheheehehehe please! Don’t do that! Stoppit! Hehehehehe!! Nyehehahahauhuhuhuuuu!!” Laharl, with an expression far too serious to match his actions, had his hands around the empusa’s waist and was squeezing frantically, causing the succubus-type demon to start squealing and hopping about the room. Her companion, the nekomata, just giggled and watched the proceedings.
“That’s the way, Laharl!” Flonne cheered. “You can do it! Get her! Yeah!’
“You idiot!” Laharl snarled. “Help meeeeeeeeeee!!!” The empusa crashed down onto the floor, still squealing and wiggling around with Laharl clamped onto her, but the tail had started to flit and tease along Laharl’s neck, making him cry out with surprise.
“Oh! This is so exciting!” Flonne said with a giggle, taking a seat carefully near the wildly thrashing pair and proceeding to remove a boot from the empusa. “Is this enough help, Laharl…?” Flonne blinked; the moment her fingers had touched the demon’s sole, she had squealed and bucked to such a degree that Laharl had gone flying into the ceiling. “Oh my! I’m so sorry, Laharl –“
“Don’t stop!” Laharl screeched as he slowly began to peel off of the ceiling. “Keep getting her!”
“Ohh! Right!” Flonne gamely hung onto the empusa’s leg, giggling with childish glee as her fingers ran up and down the demon’s sole, seemingly oblivious to the damage she was causing. And still the nekomata did nothing, just watching the entire show with obvious glee and a fanged grin…
“PRINCE! I’m going to KILL you!” Etna exclaimed, banging open the door theatrically, yet looking as if she had just run a marathon mile as she raised her left arm to toss something at him – and a grayish tentacle wrapped around her wrist from behind, with several others snaking out to glide their tips on the exposed skin of Etna’s underarm and sides. Squealing with laughter, she toppled over forward and crashed into the room, trying to crawl away from whatever it was that was wielding the tentacles. It was apparent that she’d lost her boots at some point in time and was probably exhausted from running…
“You fool! What are you doing bringing that thing in HERE?!” Laharl screamed, going wide-eyed. “I hired a tentacle monster disguised as me so it would get you out THERE, not for it to run around loose in HERE!” Laharl finally peeled off of the ceiling and landed square on top of the nekomata. Dazed, confused, and on the ground, the four of them watched as Etna slowly dragged the weird, grayish blob sprouting tentacles into the room.
Laharl watched, wide-eyed, as the tentacles picked up all the girls but left him alone. “That’s right… I specifically instructed him not to bother me! Hmhmhmhm… hahahaha… AAAAAAHAHAHAHA! Now you shall know the wrath of the great Laharl!” He watched in great satisfaction as the tentacles’ tips graced the much-exposed flesh of the three tormentors from before, and laughed as Flonne was thrown into the mix just for good measure.
“Mhmhmhmhm… hahahaha…. AAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!”
“D00d, what’s going on in there?” one of the Prinnies asked from down the hall.
“Don’t ask,
d00d. It’s better that you just close the door and pretend it’s not
there.” And
so the Prinny Squad closed the door and left, ignoring the squealing
shrieks of
laughter coming from within the room and going back to their break.
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